My 2015 Foolproof New Years Resolutions

It’s that time of year where we make conscious decisions to better ourselves in the coming year. Ah, the promise of a new year, a clean slate, a new beginning. Like everyone else, I make several pacts with myself to do all the things I promised I’d do on January 1st of the previous year.

I’ll eat healthy, lose weight, exercise, garden, and organize my life. I’ll be the person I knew I could be: a better person, a stronger person… a purposeful person.

After Christmas, I began the planning process. After all, no good project (which is what I consider myself) comes without a carefully thought out plan. I pinned the hell out of Pinterest. I have countless pins of “detox water” recipes (incidentally, 2015 is looking to be the year of the great cucumber/lime-infused pee).

I can make pizza with a cauliflower crust and bake cakes without shortening. I have playlists to walk, jog, and dance to. I’m holding onto cardboard toilet paper rolls to organize my phone chargers. I’m going to recycle and repurpose every pallet Costco is trashing and build a new house with the wood, complete with indoor and outdoor pallet furniture.

Plans for the garden? Let’s just say the head gardeners at New York Botanical Gardens and The White House Rose Garden will seek my advice once they witness my living works of art.

Like most of you, everything on my usual resolution list will be a complete and total failure. None of these things will happen. By January 3rd (I’m being generous here)… this will all be a laughable memory.

So I’ve come up with a solution. A new list… a fail-proof list. Instead of listing all the things I’ll do… why not make a list of all the things I won’t do. (I know, it’s brilliant in its simplicity). Come December 31st, 2015, I will proudly say that I saw all my 2015 Resolutions through.

So here it is. The list of 2015 Resolutions I will keep.

– I will not have dinner on the International Space Station.
– I will not marry Neil Patrick Harris.
– I will not win Jeopardy (unless it’s teen week, then I think I have a shot.)
– I will not share lip-gloss with Vladimir Putin.
– I will not have my prostate examined
– I will not tower over Shaquille O’Neal.
– I will not lay naked on a banquet table while sushi is served on top of me.
– I will not be The Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker ballet.
– I will not perform open heart surgery
– I will not be a sister wife.
– I will not win The Amazing Race or The Voice.
– I will not check my mailbox looking for a letter from Shaun Cassidy thanking me for the fan letter I sent to him when I was twelve. ( I’m Da-Do-Done-Done with you, Shaun!)
– I will not stare at the crotches of the Men’s Olympic swimmers anymore. (This is a lie. I will… and you know you will too.)
– I will not win an Olympic Gold in Curling.
– I will not not drink wine (that’s a trick resolution- double negatives rock!)
– I will not sing a duet with Tony Bennett (unless I’m drunk and you convince me you’re Tony Bennett.)
– I will not win Miss Nude 2015.
– I will not say “Yay! It’s snowing!”
– I will not date Sugar Bear… Momma June scares me.
– I will not star as a love interest in Sharknado 3.
– I will not take George Clooney back when he realizes the mistake he made marrying “that woman”.
So there ya go… Fool Proof Success.

There is just one thing I will do. Enjoy life and remember every day is a gift.

I wish you Happiness, Health and Peace in 2015.

 

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Here’s some very cool news to end the year. My book, The Casual Rule (the link is to your right) was listed as “One of the Best of 2014” by Natalie at Love Between The Sheets.

Here’s what she said:
The Casual Rule by AC Netzel: This book was pure gold. Adorable, witty, heartwarming, sweet, sexy. I had such a fun time reading. Author AC Netzel was able to take a topic that we have all read before, ‘friends-with-benefits’, and turn it into something all her own. The characters felt genuine and were easily likable, the dialogue made me laugh and the romance was just perfect.

Link below:
http://romanceatrandom.com/best-of-the-year-2014/

A huge thank you to Natalie and everyone who has read my book. From the bloggers who took time out of their busy lives : Love Between the Sheets, Three Chicks and Their Book Blog, Nerd Girl, Live and Breathes Book Blog, Hooks & Books, Romance of Daydreams, and G & The Book Divas Blog ( I apologize if I forgot someone) to my fanfiction fans to someone who randomly took a chance on an unknown author.   It’s truly humbling to know that Julia, Ben, and Allie put a smile on your face. I love them and I’m thrilled you do too.

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Fanfiction friends: I updated A Different Way on Dec 27th. Here’s the link in case you missed it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8737857/25/Fifty-Shades-A-Different-Way

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One last thing:

Starting in January, it may be harder to see facebook posts on my Author page (the page you “LIKE”). If you want to be sure you get updates from me (and who wouldn’t … I’ve met me — I’m delightful) here’s how to do it.

*Subscribe to this blog
* Friend me on Facebook at AC Netzel ( for fanfiction snippets, original writings and whatever crosses my mind) : Here’s a shortcut: http://tinyurl.com/ou5urcq
*Find Me on Twitter at @ACNetzel
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*Find Me on Goodreads: http://tinyurl.com/m47qqg5
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*My Amazon Author Page : http://tinyurl.com/mchxsah

*Find me on TSU: https://www.tsu.co/AuthorACNetzel

‘LIKE’ my facebook Author Page. Here’s a shortcut: http://tinyurl.com/kkbnfcl

New Year’s Resolutions….The Verdict is In….

We’re a little over two weeks into the New Year and I thought I’d revisit my 2014 New Year’s Resolutions. Let’s take a look and see how I’ve faired so far…..

~o0o~

 1- Be more financially responsible.

That Amazon is a sexy beast.  Seducing me again with one click shopping and Two-day Prime delivery.   I’ve also discovered that I really dislike watching my  bank account go down, down, down.  Hence the rather large pile of unopened bills.   Well, well, well… lookie here… a Bed, Bath and Beyond coupon at the bottom of the pile.  How can I pass that up?  There’s got to be some Yankee Candle or quirky wine glass charm that I must own.  Since I get 20% off…that’s financially responsible…ish.  Isn’t it?

Verdict: FAIL

~o0o~

2- I’m going to eat healthy.

 I had two cups of coffee and a handful of jellybeans for breakfast.  Does that answer this question?

 Verdict: FAIL

 ~o0o~

3- I’m going to exercise six days a week.

 I wanted to.  I really did. I had grand plans of setting up an exercise room in the basement.  Dusting off my dumbbells and kettle bells, locating all the Biggest Loser DVDs and removing the piles of laundry off my Total Gym…but it was cutting into my naptime. (They don’t call me The Napster for nothing.)

 So…unless you count lifting a coffee cup to my mouth and digesting jellybeans (which does expend some calories, doesn’t it?  I’m pretty sure that has to be close to a wash) as exercise, I’d say….

Verdict:  FAIL

~o0o~

4-I’ll be less cynical.

 Bwahhh… yeah, right.

Verdict: Let’s be honest -This was never going to happen.

~o0o~

5- I’m going to be more social.  Reconnect with old friends.

 I admit… I haven’t actually tried to reconnect with anyone.  I was waiting to lose some weight first, so I looked good. (See, vanity can be your friend). If you’ve read my Resolutions # 2 & 3, you can guess how that’s going.

However, I did “like” two facebook postings on my facebook newsfeed.  That’s pretty darn social for me.  I know it’s a stretch, but it’s something.

Verdict: I’m taking half credit for this. We’ll call it FAIL-ISH.

~o0o~

 6- I’m going to organize my life.

You’ve seen the pile of bills and Amazon boxes…want to take a stab at how this resolution went down?

Verdict: FAIL

~o0o~

 7- I’m going to keep up with my gardening.  Weed a little bit every day.

 It’s too early for mosquito season (although I’m sure if those blood sucking bastards could find a way, they’d locate me in a blizzard).  That said, there’s a lot of plant pruning that needs to be done. My yard is still full of fall leaves.  I should bag them.  I could log that as exercise and accomplish Resolution # 3 …but it’s cold out there.  I hate the cold.  I’ll wait until we get one of those freak eighty-five degree days in the middle of winter.  Until then, I’ll continue to stare at a yard full of dead leaves and lifeless dried clematis vines wrapped around very pretty arbors.

Verdict: FAIL

~o0o~

8- I’m going to drink less wine.

 I’m still laughing at this one.  As I write this, last night’s wine glass is drying in the dish rack in my kitchen.

Verdict:  FAIL

~o0o~

9- I’m going to stop wasting my valuable time on stupid facebook games.

 Confession…I got a new tablet for Christmas.  So now I waste my valuable time on new game apps.  Flow Free is going to drive me insane.  But I can’t stop myself.  And I don’t want to brag (but I will) …I’m awesome at Four Pictures One Word.  Awesome!

 Verdict:  MEGA FAIL

 ~o0o~

 However, I still forgive myself…

For not being the perfect parent… because next to some of the mothers I’ve seen on Reality TV…I’m Mother of the Century.

For not being the perfect wife… but loving my husband, who I don’t expect to be perfect in return— However, he could be a little closer to perfect  if he could just put  his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, instead of the kitchen sink which is RIGHT NEXT TO the dishwasher. And it’s sweet that he cleans up after dinner, but his version of cleaning up is placing dirty dishes in the sink.  That’s it.  USE THE DISHWASHER!   It’s not too hard to figure out how to place a glass in the rack.  And another thing….the kitchen isn’t “cleaned up” unless you wipe down the counters and any spills on the stove.  He’s a very smart man…yet he has not yet figured this out.

For feeling like I failed… when at least I tried—I suppose I could try a little harder.

For not finishing my book this year: FINALLY!  Something positive.  You may recall back in October, I was struggling with “Evil Chapter Nine” in my book.  I’m happy to say, I have beat the beast and I’m finally moving forward.  I’m currently editing less evil Chapter Ten and Eleven.

I’ve received a few PMs regarding my Fifty Shades of Grey fanfictions.  Now that I’ve crossed Evil Chapter Nine off my list, and life’s bumps are…slightly less bumpy and I got my writing mojo back…. I will start working on the next chapter of Fifty Shades- A Different Way.  I’ve had a few requests for more Late Night Thoughts- 20 Year Later.   I have a few thoughts on One Shots.  So we’ll see…right now my answer is Definitely Maybe.  That story is like home to me…and there’s no place like home.

My 2014 New Year’s Resolutions and Other Tall Tales.

Many of us look at the New Year as a clean slate, a start over.  We make promises to ourselves regarding the way we are going to better our lives, whether it be through diet and exercise, work related or just trying to be a better person.

Here’s a list of My New Year’s Resolutions (or Tall Tales, as I like to call them)

1- Be more financially responsible.

One click shopping at Amazon has been my downfall. I also tend to let the bills pile up until they’re a nightmare to manage.  I rarely balance my checkbook.  I really should work on that… after all the after Christmas sales, of course.  Then again, isn’t January known for “White Sales’? I could always use more towels.

2- I’m going to eat healthy.

After I finish all the cookies, chips and candy in the house.    Don’t want to throw money in the trash, wouldn’t be ‘financially responsible’ (See Resolution #1).  I think there are a few microwave pizzas in the freezer too.  Can’t waste that… it wouldn’t be frugal. Besides, pizza covers all the major food groups, if you work the food group system. If I try hard enough, I’m betting I could maneuver cheesecake on to the healthy diet side too. I’m pretty sure I can manipulate any food to the healthy side…Resolution #2 may be moot.

3- I’m going to exercise six days a week.

 Hmmm…that could cut into my naptime on the weekends.  There’s no way in hell I’m giving that up. Okay, okay… I’ll only exercise on week days.  Then again, I should rest my muscles too.  I’ve read that’s very important.  Don’t want to injure myself.  Maybe I’ll exercise three days a week.  Two sounds even better.

4-I’ll be less cynical.

  Bwahhh… yeah, right.

5- I’m going to be more social.  Reconnect with old friends.

No I won’t.  There’s a reason why I stopped contact in the first place. Most of my ‘old friends’ annoyed the crap out of me.  Anyway it’s just more obligations, parties to attend, Girl Scout cookies to purchase, Christmas cards I’ll have to write out in December.  Scratch this idea.

6- I’m going to organize my life.

 The more likely scenario is I’ll buy more crap and add it to the pile, or hide stuff in the closets and create another junk draw.

7- I’m going to keep up with my gardening.  Weed a little bit every day.

Until the first mosquito bites me, then screw it, I’m done.

8- I’m going to drink less wine.

It’s okay, I’m laughing at that one too.

9- I’m going to stop wasting my valuable time on stupid facebook games.

As soon as I win Candy Crush…I swear.

~o0o~

Chances are these tall tale resolutions will fade into memory by January 15^th.  But there are some truths I will carryover to 2014.

I will forgive myself…

 

For not being the perfect parent… but always loving my children with all my heart and soul and doing the best I can for them.

For not being the perfect wife… but loving my husband, who I don’t expect to be perfect in return. We are fiercely loyal to each other.  We laugh together.  We cry together.  When one is down, the other holds them up. We love each other. Simple. That’s really all we need.

For feeling like I failed… when at least I tried.

For not finishing my book this year. You can’t predict life’s bumps… but you can weather the storm and come out the other side.  My husband told me when I was eighteen I mentioned that I thought it would be interesting to write a book.  I don’t remember that conversation. He was the person who told me to write it.  He has so much faith in me, he gives me faith.  So I’ll open up that Word document and let the story flow again.

~o0o~

I wish you all a Happy and Healthy 2014.

Peace to All,

Annette