Tag Archive | Indie

Blurb time!

Now that The New Rule is published, I have a little time on my hands. I no longer have the “I’ll get right to it, I’m editing now” excuse…  I ‘should’ clean my house or garden… or something else productive.

But why do that when there’s adobe photoshop to play around with? I made a few blurbs. Mostly so I could use blurb in a sentence… because it’s a ridiculous word… and I’m always attracted to the ridiculous.  So here we go.

I go back to writing on Monday… so indulge me while I play.

Blurbs for The New Rule (The Casual Rule 2)

US Link: http://tinyurl.com/nodzxkc
UK Link: http://tinyurl.com/k6d8zqj
CA Link: http://tinyurl.com/lwfm4rl

NR Blurb2 NR Blurb 1

NR Blurb 3
~o0o~

And as a reminder that The Casual Rule (which can be read as a standalone) is FREE until 5/17.  Check Amazon before you one click.
Amazon US link: http://ow.ly/MTt28
Amazon UK link: http://ow.ly/MTsWY
Free3Free2

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Twenty Things I Hate

Full disclosure before you read this: I’ve been sick for over a week with a killer cold and I’m hopped up on sinus medication while I write this. I make no guarantees it will make any sense. Read at your own risk.

Okay, now that the warnings of medicated stupidity are over…

I’m cranky as hell. I feel like crap. My head has so much pressure I can’t concentrate long enough to write anything for the book or proofread anything already written (hence the warning above). In the spirit of my crankiness, I was mulling over things I dislike. I’m trying to be upbeat by not using the word “hate” even though in my current mood… it may be the better choice.

So here’s a short list of twenty things I greatly dislike most days and hate today (is that better?)

1- Julia Roberts: I don’t know what it is about her that turns me off so much. I liked her in Notting Hill, but that’s because Hugh Grant was in it. Hugh Grant I like. On the off chance that she is reading this… Dear Julia- I didn’t mean to write Julia Roberts, I meant Doris Roberts.

2-Channing Tatum : Sorry, I know the ladies swoon for this guy, but I don’t see it. Yeah, he has a nice body, but the rest… pass. Unless he’s reading this, then I meant Carol Channing (I don’t; she’s a national treasure)

3- Plastic Wrap: It always rips at the wrong spot, sticks to itself and frustrates the hell out of me. I’m pretty certain it thinks it’s smarter than me… and it just may be.

4- Empty toilet paper rolls on the toilet paper holder: It’s a reminder of how lazy my family can be. They take out a new roll of toilet paper and place it on top of the empty roll, but don’t bother to remove the empty cardboard roll and replace it.

5- Buying gasoline: I live in one of two states in the country where you cannot pump your own gas. In my lifetime, I have never pumped my own gas (that should probably go on my tombstone: Here lies AC Netzel- Never Pumped Gas). The fact that I never need to leave my car, face the elements should mean getting gas is no big deal. Once the gas light comes on in my car, I’m filled with dread. There’s no reasonable explanations. All I do is hand the attendant my debit card and my participation is complete. But I hate it.

6- When make-up crud gathers in the corner of my eyes. Gross, just gross.

7- People who saunter through the grocery store: The perfect birthday gift for me would be an hour … alone in a grocery store. With no saunter-ers (I made that word up). No chatty neighbors. No aisle hogs. No sudden cart stoppers.

8- Ambrosia: I know it’s dessert, but it looks like a hot mess to me.

9- Aaron Neville’s Mole: The guy is super talented. But his mole: I don’t know much, but I know I don’t like it.

10- People who say “I know how you feel” when they can’t possibly know how I feel.

11- Ball Pits: When my daughter was a toddler, she had a panic attack in one of the tubes in a ball pit playground at a local fast food chain. I was eight months pregnant with baby #2 at the time. I had to climb in to help her out. I wasn’t one of those pretty “just pregnant from the front women”, I was pregnant EVERYWHERE. Once inside, I saw the horrors that no parent should see. Not only were there filthy balls festering with germs, but there was a corner where some toddler peed. Yes, a pee puddle inside. I had to get my daughter out, without disturbing the pee… then I had to slide my fat pregnant ass down a tube slide. Last time we went there.

12- All the Trump men’s hair: Dudes, you have the money. Fork over the ten bucks, go to a mall and ask the barber to give you a proper haircut. And the gel? Lose it. It’s not working for any of you. I don’t know if the Trump Men lost a bet and that’s why they wear that hair… but it has to stop. Donald, Donald Jr., Eric… Please, find a stylist.

13- People who use big words when simpler words will do. You’re not impressing anyone.

14- My hair on humid days. Hot mess.

15- People who think it’s acceptable to walk up to a pregnant woman and pat her stomach. No, no, no, no, no. That crosses so many personal space and respect lines. This is never okay.

16- Loud sippers: You know people who sip their coffee with that “nails on a chalkboard” loud sippy sound? Ugh. My father was a loud coffee sipper. Loved the man, hated that sound. Or the soda gulpers. Cut it out. Drink like a human. Unless you have a medical condition and you have no choice, don’t slurp. Especially in public.

17- One-Uppers: You know these people. You have a story and they always have a better story. They’re so insecure; they have to steal everyone else’s limelight. Asswipes.

18- Highway Drifters: PICK A DAMN LANE and stay with it.

19- The consistency of tofu: Food shouldn’t be spongy.

20- People who try to force me to take a picture. I don’t like having my photo taken. I never have, even when I was a kid. There are probably ten pictures of me in existence. If I say no… I mean no. Respect it and move on. You’re not going to needle me until I change my mind. It will make me hate you more.

~o0o~

I could go on and on…until the meds wear off anyway, but you get the picture. Feel free to share.

Can You Sign This?

I was looking for something on a shelf in my closet when a giant box landed on my head and most of the contents spilled out.  My organizational skills suck. Sprawled out all over the floor were mementos from long (and I mean L-O-N-G) ago. There were cards we held on to — anniversary, Valentines Day, etc.—I even found an invitation to my wedding in the box.

There were ticket stubs from concerts. I’d like to go on record as saying I was a pretty rocking teenager… The Who (their first last tour), Kinks, Grateful Dead, Billy Joel, Police, Rolling Stones (another first last tour), Van Halen (David Lee Roth’s first go-around), Elton John (after John Lennon was killed. Yoko came out during ‘Empty Garden”- very moving), Yes (which I remember hating).

If someone was touring, I was there. It gave me bragging rights the next day in school.  Back then, it was important to give off an “I’m cool, I go to concerts” vibe at all times. I really wish I kept my collection of concert T-shirts—I’d make a small fortune on eBay today.

I struck gold when I came across two items I forgot existed. My autograph albums from Grammar School (5th grade) and Intermediate (8th grade). It was customary for graduating students to ask your friends and teachers to sign a page and wish you well in the future.

My fifth grade book had many of the customary “Best of Luck” and “Best Wishes” sentiments written by teachers. My friends, on the other hand, wrote more colorful but sweet sayings. Things like:

“If all the boys lived a cross the sea, what a good swimmer Annette would be.”

“When you’re old and have nothing to eat, take off your shoes and smell your feet.” (This makes absolutely no sense.)

You get the picture.

Teachers wished me well. Some saying what a “lovely girl” I was (I was… Truly, I was).  I was a bit of a clown when I was nine-years-old, as evidenced by the following words:

lio006humor 5th007

Below was written by my 5th grade teacher. I’m pretty certain I tortured the poor man with my smart-ass mouth and sparkling personality.

viggiano005_edited-1
Fast forward to eighth-grade. Well, well, well… we certainly lost our wholesome sweetness. It was all about sex… especially for the boys.

8th vagina0128th stuff0108th head009
And apparently I held onto my class clown crown. Fortunately, my teachers appreciated my humor (mostly) and gave it back.

8th tuzzo011

This was written by my math teacher. He was an awesome man. (Note: He knew how to spell “Annette”, back then I called myself many things.  This was my “French” version of my name.  People indulged  me because I was just so darn wonderful.

This little walk down Memory Lane proved to me that although we grow up and become responsible(ish) adults—there’s two things that never change:

Making people laugh will always be my lot in life.

And at any age… if a boy can bring sex into the conversion, he will.


Okay, I haven’t done this in a while, so I’m going for it. A shameless plug…

My book The Casual Rule is available on Amazon for kindle. If you don’t own a kindle, Amazon offers a free Kindle App.

It’s a great read ( if I don’t say so myself), especially this time of the year, as the story includes Christmas Eve & Day chapters.

Here’s the link (or you can click on the book icon to your right)

http://tinyurl.com/k7t7ugp

Here are a few Amazon reviews:

-If you are looking for a fun, witty, sweet story that will make you laugh then The Casual Rule is the book for you. I loved this story. It is funny and sexy with a bit of drama all in one.

-If you’re looking for a book with a little bit of smut, a little comedy and a ride on an emotional roller coaster, then pick up this book today. You will love Julia. She is incredible and I think she’s one of my new favorite female characters this year.
-If you’re looking for a light and fun romantic comedy with plenty of laughs you are sure to enjoy The Casual Rule! It would make the perfect beach read!

-FABULOUS! AWESOME! And every other superlative you can think. OH MY! Such tender love. Totally a page turner and I do mean that.  If I could give it more than 5*, I would. And I rarely ever say that about any book and I have read some terrific books. This book hooked me from the very beginning. No superfluous words. Just amazing writing. If you truly love heartrending romance, READ THIS BOOK. I read it and turned right around the next day and reread it. Still makes me tingle.

-Funny, sweet, sexy, and totally captivating with characters you could feel. There are hordes of hopeless romantics who will love the way this story unfolds.


 

Re: Fanfiction:

There was an update on the Fifty Shades- A Different Way story on Nov 14th. If you missed it, check it out.

 


One Last Thing:

Thank you to everyone for the kind words either through comments or private messages on my last blog entry. It’s very much appreciated.

I’ll leave you with a quote by Drew Barrymore:

“Life is very interesting… in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths.”

Coming Out of the Author Closet

Publishing a book has been an interesting experience for me. It wasn’t something I saw on my radar…it just happened. I kept my secret author life under wraps from people in my “real-life.”
This was something I did for me…something I didn’t have to share, explain or defend.

The first person I “came out” to was my husband. He would watch me furiously typing on my laptop while we were watching TV together. Whenever he’d ask who I was writing to, I’d answer “No one” and continue on. He’d tease me about my secret internet life, occasionally asking me if I had a virtual boyfriend. He was kidding…at least I hope he was kidding.

Finally, after about two months, I came clean and confessed. I think he figured it out at that point. He knew I was reading fanfiction. I’d bitch and moan about all the awful things my beloved characters were doing. He knew when I read a cheating story by the side-eye he’d get from me after I read it. And he certainly knew when I read a lemon…. You can fill in the blank there.

One day I get the bright idea to write a book. This was an interesting change from fanfiction writing. My characters weren’t based on someone else’s ideas. I wasn’t bound by the personalities already written. These were my characters and mine alone. And I grew to really like them… occasionally wishing they were real so I could hang-out with them. That’s the nice thing about writing your own characters; you can make them anyone you want.

In my imagination they felt real…if they did something funny, I laughed with them. If they felt pain, I felt it. If they did something stupid, I wanted to smack them up side the head. But they were locked inside my head…just for me.

It wasn’t that I was afraid that anyone I let in on my secret wouldn’t support me. My family is awesome. My friends are awesome. They may make fun of me for writing a story that had some snark and smut… but they will always have my back.

My fear was “the blur”. I knew if I told anyone who knows me in “real-life” about publishing my book …and they took the time to read it…most would not distinguish between my own reality and my character’s reality. My characters are fictional… relatable, cool and a lot of fun…but still … fictional. (Not gonna lie…I’m relatable, cool and fun too, but still… real. Every time I step on the scale, I’m reminded how very ‘real’ I am).

My husband encouraged me to share my “Big News”… After all, publishing a novel is a big friggin’ deal (there should be a special candy or wine for such occasions). I was proud of my book. Sure, I had my moments of insecurities …okay, many moments… but I believe I accomplished the end result I was hoping for… a story that makes you smile…mostly.

The first people I confessed to were my mother and sisters. And it pretty much went as expected.

Mom: I love it. It’s so funny. The sex is good too. That husband of yours must be a lucky man.
Me: Please don’t say anymore.

My mother now uses the term “hot-sex” when speaking of my book, frequently. It makes me feel so dirty. Don’t get me wrong, my mother is no “little old lady” but still…she’s my mom…and the term “hot-sex” uttered from my virginal mother of seven’s mouth…Umm…no thank you.

~o0o~

Let’s move on to my sister… here’s the email I got from her:

So…… how do I keep you & your husband out of my head while reading?

Yup, that’s about what I was expecting.

~o0o~

Next…some of my friend’s reactions. I love my friends. They can tease you and it’s okay. … because you know karma is a bitch and one day you’ll get them back.

These are my childhood friends. I’ve know these wonderful ladies since I was seven-years-old. They know too much about me… and I know too much about them. It’s nice having enough dirt on each other to secure lifetime friendships. Oh, the stories we could tell. I’ll save that for another book.

Here’s their reaction when I “Came out of the Author Closet”

Friend 1: What an awesome accomplishment!! I always knew you were a writer, way back in high school, you could always dazzle the teachers with your work, even if you didn’t even start the assignment until an hour before it was due! I have started your book and gotten to chapter 6, I am enjoying your smuttiness!!

Friend 2: Wow. Always knew you had it in you. I’m expecting to lol when I read this – I still remember those great stories from Rivlins class

(Rivlin was our 10th grade English teacher… I don’t think he appreciated my smart-aleck mouth, but he begrudgingly liked my writing. My friends in his other classes would beg him to read my work to their class. I liked to write funny then…I remember a character I wrote named Venetian, a blind prophet (we were reading Greek tragedies at the time)… I created him all because I wanted to write the line “Venetian’s blind.” I thought that line was hysterical.

I tended to write all of our assignments in the hallway on the way to class on the day it was due. And still pulled off A’s. Pissed off my friends. What can I say? I worked better under pressure. If I was still in high school, I’d probably do the same.)

Friend 3: started yesterday afternoon and just finished……..loved it!!!! Who knew you were such a dirty girl!!! LOLOLOL when’s the next one coming out???

Okay, that went better than expected. Although I see them in person in a week. After a few glasses of wine…I’m sure the conversations will be much raunchier.

~o0o~

Everyone naturally assumes that the sex I wrote about was my own. I cannot confirm or deny this assumption.

However, my husband has no issue if my readers choose to believe that the Ben character is based on him.

So, it’s been an interesting experience all around. First publishing a book. Waiting for feedback (which thankfully has been very positive). Then unveiling my secret author-life to a few of my nearest and dearest.

All in all, I’m glad I came-out to my selective few. I cringed and blushed while confessing to the smut portion of my writing… but didn’t hurt a bit.


 

A bit of business:

Here’s a few links to my book, The Casual Rule. If you haven’t already bought it… what are you waiting for? One-click it! It’s the perfect beach read… and if it’s your winter…it’s the perfect sit by the fireplace read. Covers all the bases.

If you have read it and feel so inclined to leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, it would be greatly appreciated. (It helps us Indie writers get seen). I’ve taken my magical multicolored gel pens and blank notebooks to the summertime home-office (the beach) and started writing book 2.

Amazon US link: http://tinyurl.com/osl87fb
Amazon UK link: http://tinyurl.com/nx374jq
Amazon AU link: http://tinyurl.com/ntcasyb
Amazon CA link: http://tinyurl.com/nf3yt56
And many other countries…check out your Amazon links.

~o0o~

FSOG Fanfiction:

I updated Fifty Shades- A Different Way last week. Already working on the next chapter. I have to say, I have changed direction on the original intended storyline and I’m enjoying writing this new direction. It’s been a lot of fun (CG’s thought process has made me laugh out loud a few times while writing it) and I know many of you will never look at Jeopardy the same way.

~o0o~

 

How to Find Me:

1- Subscribe to this blog

2- Facebook: I have two accounts:

    A)Friend’ me at AC Netzel (I talk fanfiction snippets among other random thoughts. I’m probably most active here) https://www.facebook.com/netzel.fanfic

    B)Like’ my facebook Author page: Author- AC Netzel
http://tinyurl.com/p5ezdbs

3- Twitter: ACNetzel@ACNetzel

4-Follow’ my stories on the fanfiction site for updates on chapters. ( Netzel- Author) Late Night Thoughts is complete, but Fifty Shades – A Different Way is still updating…and Nighttime Thoughts (the tongue-on-cheek story) will eventually get one more addendum (because I refuse to call it a chapter)

 

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Cover Reveal and Blurb…

Julia Conti is living the dream in New York City. She has a job she loves in publishing and shares an apartment in the Village with her lifelong best friend, Allie. Following a bad break-up, Julia swears off of men and relationships, until she meets Ben Martin, an up and coming author who is smart, sexy and very easy on the eyes. Fueled by their mutual attraction, close working relationship and fear of relationships, Julia and Ben embark on a purely physical affair, following the Casual Rule. As they bring each other further into their lives, their casual status blurs. Can she keep sex and love separate or will feelings take hold and Julia get her heart broken again?

Final Cover 5-10

 

*I’m sure a few of you were hoping for Fabio on the cover, but the daisies won out.  I’m on Goodreads now if you want to find me there …. AC Netzel The Casual Rule, coming May 15, 2014.  Mark it “To-Read” on Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22044745-the-casual-rule