Tag Archive | Humor

The Only Rule (The Casual Rule 3) is LIVE!

The Only Rule Final CoverThe Only Rule is LIVE!

Thank you to everyone who has supprted me and loves Julia, Ben and Allie as much as I do.  I hope it makes you smile!

myBook.to/TheOnlyRule

After a bad break-up, Julia wasn’t interested in another romantic relationship. Ben wasn’t interested in commitment. Unable to fight their undeniable attraction, they embarked on a purely physical friends-with-benefits affair.

The only rule was to keep things casual.

But some rules were meant to be broken.

And their casual rule was obliterated.

Now madly in love and deeply committed to each other, they’re on the road to tying the knot.

With best friends like Allie, secret friend Stuart, and a big Italian family to help smooth out a few bumps on the matrimonial highway, getting to their wedding day may be one unpredictable ride.

A little more sweet, a little more smut, a little more snark.

This is the third and last of The Casual Rule series.
Recommended for readers 18+ due to sexual references and sex scenes

FREE ON Kindle Unlimited

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Today is the LAST DAY to One-Click The Casual Rule Freebie.

cr filthyLAST DAY! The Casual Rule is FREE until 10/24 on Kindle. Grab it while you still can!
A little sweet, a little smut, a little snark.
 
CAN BE READ AS A STAND ALONE.
 
5***** Review: Funny, sweet, sexy, and totally captivating with characters you could feel. There are hordes of hopeless romantics who will love the way this story unfolds.
 
Amazon US link: http://ow.ly/MTt28
Amazon UK link: http://ow.ly/MTsWY
Amazon DE link: http://amzn.to/2xSnhcf
Amazon AU link: http://amzn.to/2xa0GrP
Amazon FR link: http://amzn.to/2guJWIU
Amazon IT link: http://amzn.to/2yW29a7
Amazon ES link: http://amzn.to/2gqIR1e
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The Thrid of the Series, The Only Rule is coming out on October 26th!  Get your one-click finger ready for more Julia, Ben, and Allie.

Happy Book Birthday to Me!

It’s hard to believe “The New Rule” was published two years ago today. (The Casual Rule is three years tomorrow).  Where does the time go?  I know the third book has taken a long time (for various reasons) but it’s near completion. I also know the “momentum” is gone… but I don’t care.  I enjoy being part of their world.  I love their love. I adore their friendships. I owe Julia, Ben, and Allie this one.

(Lucky for me and my readers none of my books have cliffhanger endings… we’d be hanging on the cliff way too long.)

So… to celebrate my Book Birthday, here’s a small snippet of book three. Still untitled.

(And a special “Happy Mother’s day to all celebrating on Sunday!)

 

Note: Spoilers if you haven’t read the first two.

kissing

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 © AC Netzel

(Unedited. Subject to change)

 

“While we’re on the subject of sex… I’ve been bouncing around an idea. I want to pass it by you.”

“I’m intrigued.”

“What do you think about abstaining until after we’re married?”

His chopsticks stop abruptly mid-way to his mouth.

“You’re asking me this an hour after we had sex?” he asks, amused, placing his chopsticks down on his plate.

“I read an article in Weddings Galore. It claims if we wait, the build-up will make the wedding night special.”

“Do you think abstaining will reviriginize you?” A sarcastic grin is plastered across his perfectly smug face.

The bastard.

I throw a chopstick at him. “Don’t be a smart ass.”

He laughs, catching it in one hand. “I fail to see the benefit in cutting off something we both enjoy doing… something we do pretty fucking well.”

“Think about how romantic it would be… like the first time all over again.”

“Every time with you is like the first time.”

I roll my eyes.  He’s trying—and failing—to hide another smirk.

“Stop trying to charm the clothes off me with your flattery.”

Admittedly, he does look good. He hasn’t shaved and has that dark delicious stubble I’m dying to touch.

“No sex?” he asks.

I shrug. “What do you think?”

He pauses for a few seconds, squints an eye then shakes his head. “You wouldn’t last.”

“Do you really think you’re that irresistible?”

“I know I am,” he answers bluntly. “To you, anyway.”

Yeah, to me and most of womankind.

 I smack his arm. “Be serious.”

“I am serious. You wouldn’t last.”

“Yes I would,” I insist.

“Yesterday I was in the shower… alone. Within two minutes, you joined me.”

“I wanted to conserve water.”

“You’re a terrible liar. You wanted to fuck.”

“You didn’t complain,” I counter.

“I’m not complaining now.  I’m pro-fucking.”

I laugh out loud.  “Pro-fucking?”

“HmmMmm,” he agrees with a quick nod.

“That sweet talk of yours is dripping in romance, Romeo.”

“I’m merely stating a fact.  You wouldn’t last.”

I stare at him looking all Ben-luscious in a pair of gray sweats with that beautiful bulge, which I happen to have very recent dirty memories of, and a tight black T-shirt that shows off his guns. I’m an arm porn addict and goddamn, this man has beautiful biceps.

I know it’s only been an hour, but I wouldn’t mind another go at him.

“I might have lasted a day or two,” I concede.

Bannersweet pink

To add the to your Goodreads TBR list: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25762664-untitled

Or you can follow me on Amazon ( click “follow”) under my picture:  https://www.amazon.com/AC-Netzel/e/B00KCMSBX4

 

Ain’t Life Funny- A True Story

This is a story I shared on my facebook page some time ago.  I thought I’d share it here.

From the time I was seven years old I was part of a best friend trio. Molly, Jen, and me… friends through thick and thin… through mud pies and playground crushes.

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Once we reached our pre-teens, Molly’s parents flew her out (alone) to Florida to visit her aunt and grandmother for a month each summer. Molly’s mom used to bring me and Jen to the airport to pick her up at the end of her visit. An airport pickup was ultra glamorous. Neither of us had ever flown in a plane, let alone stepped foot in an airport. In our eyes, Molly’s life was flashy and electrifying. A teen jet-setter.

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Molly always came home with thrilling, envy-inducing tales about all the exciting things she did in Florida. It was endless stories of Disney World, shopping, and cute boys at the beaches. It was all so sophisticated and exhilarating. A far cry from Jen and I, who played kickball in the street with the neighborhood kids, rode our bicycles, picked blackberries growing wild in the wetlands, and hung-out in tree houses in the woods where there was usually a stack of old Playboy magazines the neighborhood boys hid.

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Mostly a Norman Rockwell existence… nothing to write home about.

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One year, when we were about twelve-years-old, Molly came home with a story about a boy she met while in Florida and how they were inseparable, summer romance, blah, blah, blah… that kind of thing. Since I saw us as a trio of equals, I was a little concerned (okay, okay… totally jealous) that the balance of coolness in our trio was tilting. So I did the only thing I could think of to slant the balance back to the center.

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I lied.

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I made up a story (thankfully Jen backed me on it) about how we met two guys and had our own summer romances (cue the soundtrack from Grease). Molly was (and still is) no dummy. She wanted details. Names, places, etc. Not thinking Molly would challenge our dishonesty; I panicked and came up with a name of a guy I never met.

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I knew he existed because for years my older sister teased me about him. One of her best friends from High School had a younger brother my age. She teased me all the time that she was going to fix me up with him. All the time.

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ALL. THE. EFFING. TIME.

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Those of you who have older siblings can sympathize with me. Once they find your kryptonite, the one thing that needles you until you start swinging your fists, they never let it go. They live for your weakness, flourish in it. I never met the kid, didn’t know what he looked like, what his voice sounded like, how tall he was… all I knew was just hearing his name made me cringe. I hated him because he was the (unknowing) source of hours of teasing and misery.

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Nevertheless he came in handy for this particular fib, because he was male and she’d never meet him. He was a convenient lie. So I announced that I dated a boy who I met through my sister and Jen dated his friend, Eric (totally fictional friend). We stuck to the stories of our summer romances and eventually the lie faded to the background of pre-teen life.

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Two years later, we were High School freshman. This was the big time. Coolness was imperative. Although my High School was HUGE (my graduating class alone was 1100 students), the honors classes were relatively small. You got to know pretty much everyone in the Honor class rotation quickly. One day I heard my fake “boyfriend’s” name mentioned. I cringed. This mystery kid who I hated actually existed and he was in here in the flesh. Worse… he was friends with some mutual friends. I avoided him like the plague for two reasons: I absolutely hated him because he was the thorn my sister put in my side for years…and if Molly met him, she’d figure out Jen and I were liars and not nearly as cool as we pretended.

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Fortunately, in our four years of High School… my lie was never discovered (because it’s a BFF’s duty to ridicule you if something embarrassing was discovered). I wouldn’t say I was ever “friendly” with my fake boyfriend… but we coexisted since we had some mutual friends. I even went to a party at his house during my senior year in High School with my boyfriend at the time.

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To this day, Molly has never put together (and I’m sure long ago forgotten) my big lie. I love getting away with a good story.

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Today, Molly, Jen, and I live in different states. But we talk and keep up with each other from time to time..

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And that fake boyfriend, who I never met and absolutely despised…. We’ll be celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary in December.

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(This is a true story. My friend’s names have been changed.)

*** Just a quick note, I’ve added separate pages for my books and their links.  I apologize if you get a bunch of emails because of it.

More Fun with My Blog’s Search Terms **NSFW**

You know when you’re pouring your last glass of wine for the night and there’s a little more than you want left in the bottle, but not enough for another glass? You have  a decision to make— do you save what little is left for some future recipe or just pour what’s left in your glass and in all likelihood end up with a nasty hangover the next day?

Last night, I went with the latter.

So here I am in my bad-decision wine haze, waiting for the coffee to seep into my veins and cure me of my stupidity. My plan was to work on my third book this morning… but in the current state of my fuzzy brain, that’s not happening. So instead, I checked out the search terms that lead people to this blog. I find it fascinating what keywords bring people here. I did this once before and had fun with it. Let’s take a peek and see what we got this time around. Please forgive any duplicates from last time (some of these terms are mind-boggling).

I’m going to skip all the obvious FSOG fanfiction search terms (and there’s a boatload of them). This is NSFW.
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socks and sex
sexy tits and tube socks

Is there a new sex & sock revolution happening that I’m not aware of? I have seen trios of socks sold. I always assumed it was because one sock always seems to get eaten by the washing machine so you had a matching replacement. This apparent sock sex movement has me rethinking that. Sock trio= foot, foot, dick. Warm dick, warm heart?
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dumbbells movie sex scene

I’m not an exerciser…but that sounds dangerous to me. Unless we’re talking about actors who are not too bright…
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the perfect cock

You want cock? You got it.

rooster-71685_640

Look at this magnificent cock. He’s bad-ass. He’ll peck the shit out of you. The wattle under his hard beak reminds me of something. What could it be?
Ah yes.

balls

Balls. Ain’t nature grand?
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ugly dicks
sex with dicjs amd boobs
cupping a dick
cock older husband

Dicks seem to be heavy on the mind of a lot of people. Apparently, spelling is not as important. Why an older husband cock would be associated with me (come to think of it, older cocks (balls included) and gravity are not a good mix.. keep that visual out of my brain, please)… or cupping a dick? Why me?

As far as ugly dicks… you won’t find them here. I like them pretty—with personality and flair.
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perfectyoungtits.

Perfect Young Tits… yup, I totally get how that one found me.
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tube sex cupping

Okay, I confess… I had to look that up. (If you could see my browser history… scarred for life). I thought we went back to socks and sex…but this references porn, apparently. So why did the search engines send them to me? My perfect young tits will never be filmed or cupped for public consumption. That’s a promise.
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my tears will burn my pillow quotes images

Turn that frown upside down. Good pillows are expensive.
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wife in garments

Why? If you were looking for your wife in garments… why search it online? Couldn’t you just look at your wife in garments right in front of you?
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girls are dick teases

Bitter much?
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boring weekend

Don’t look at me for excitement. All I want to do is nap.
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wife likes making husband cum on marshmallows

If I had a dollar every time I asked my husband to do this….

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how does the novel the casual rule end

The heroine clicks her heels three times and says “There’s no place like home.”

Wait…that’s The Wizard of Oz.

Buy the book or borrow it for free if you have KindleUnlimited.
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So there ya have it. How these terms find little ol’ me, I’ll never know… but at the very least, they keep me amused. I hope they did the same for you.

*****

Now on to some quick business.

Thank you for reading my books, for reviewing, for your support… Thank you for everything! My readers are the BEST!!!!
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I joined Instagram over the weekend. If you’d like to follow me, here’s the link: https://instagram.com/acnetzel/

To follow me on Amazon, click the “FOLLOW” button under my photo: http://www.amazon.com/AC-Netzel/e/B00KCMSBX4
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And last:

I do not have a publish date yet, but I have two teasers to share for The Casual Rule 3. This will be the last of the series. The Casual Rule can be read as a standalone. And The New Rule does not end in a cliffhanger.

To add Book 3 to your Goodreads TBR list: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25762664-untitled

cr3 ben blurbcr3 blurb allie

Today is the Last Day of the 99 cent Sale

Today, July 27th, is the last day to download a copy of The Casual Rule and The New Rule for only 99 pennies. I will “dazzle” you once again with a few Photoshop blurbs… as I’ve impressed myself that I figured out how to make them. Tell your friends!  Gift them!  Links and all that jazz below.

Once you’re done admiring the Photoshop glory before you… get one-clicking.

¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*• ‪ #99cents ‬¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•

The Casual Rule
(can be read as a Standalone)

Amazon Reviews:
~The was the perfect book to pull me out of this rut I’ve been in. It was funny, sweet, steamy, and just overall perfection.

~If you are looking for a fun, witty, sweet story that will make you laugh then The Casual Rule is the book for you. I loved this story. It is funny and sexy with a bit of drama all in one.

~FABULOUS! AWESOME! And every other superlative you can think. OH MY! Such tender love. Totally a page turner and I do mean that. Do not start this book at bedtime. I did and finished it at 6 A.M. with an appointment at 9 AM. If I could give it more than 5*, I would. And I rarely ever say that about any book and I have read some terrific books. This book hooked me from the very beginning. No superfluous words. Just amazing writing. I almost passed this book up due to title. Had no idea what it meant. Does not indicate the poignancy and love in this story until you begin reading. But once you get into book, you understand THE CASUAL RULE. If you truly love heartrending romance, READ THIS BOOK. I read it and turned right around the next day and reread it. Still makes me tingle.

CR Summer Sale 3CR Summer Sale

Links:

Amazon US link: http://ow.ly/MTt28

Amazon UK link: http://ow.ly/MTsWY

This book is also FREE on Kindle Unlimited

¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*• ‪ LAST DAY -99cents ‬¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•

The New Rule (The Casual Rule 2)

(The Casual Rule should be read prior to The New Rule. No cliffhanger ending.)

Reviews:

~Wow! An absolutely amazing follow up book and so emotionally charged that I cried a few times during this read. Brilliant story; everyone should read this series!!!

~I just love Ben and Julia. They honestly have to be one of my favorite book couples

~AC Netzel is a hidden talent just waiting to be discovered. The New Rule was emotional and heartwarming and all of those other words that are used to describe something good. She has some of the most fun and witty dialogue between characters that I have read not to mention the seriously HOT sex

NR Summer Sale 2NR Summer Sale

US Link: http://tinyurl.com/nodzxkc

UK Link: http://tinyurl.com/k6d8zqj


This book is also FREE on Kindle Unlimited

¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*• ‪ .¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*• ‪ .¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•

I’m writing Book 3 of the series now. Here’s the Goodreads link to add it to your TBR list. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25762664-untitled

Summer Sale Ad 1

After this sale, I go back into the writing cave (and stop playing with Photoshop).  I have the best readers… thank you so much for your support and for loving Julia, Ben, and Allie as much as I do.

Summer Sale for The Casual Rule ~and~ The New Rule. WooHoo…Get clicking!!!

beach ad 1 copy Thank you! Thank you! Thank you to my wonderful readers for your amazing support, for spending your precious time reading my books, and for spreading the word about them.  You’re the best!

Good News!  If you haven’t met Julia and Ben (gasp!) …Here’s your chance. It’s a 99 cent each…(or FREE on Kindle Unlimited) Summer Sale for The Casual Rule AND The New Rule.  This is only for a very limited time… starting  Thursday July 23rd and ending Monday July 27th. Tell your friends! Get your one-click finger ready.  Here’s all the info, links, and all that jazz. (**Please check Amazon’s price before you click)

~o0o~

The Casual Rule can be read as a standalone. Funny, sweet, sexy, and totally captivating with characters you could feel. There are hordes of hopeless romantics who will love the way this story unfolds.- 5* Amazon Review

Amazon US link: http://ow.ly/MTt28

Amazon UK link: http://ow.ly/MTsWY

CR Summer SaleCR Summer Sale_2

~o0o~

The New Rule (The Casual Rule 2) The Casual Rule should be read before The New Rule.  There is no cliffhanger ending.  Just a little more sweet, a little more smut, a little more snark.

 Love this continuation of Ben and Julie. The book was filled with love laughter tears and some great sex too! 🙂 -Amazon 5* review

US Link: http://tinyurl.com/nodzxkc

UK Link: http://tinyurl.com/k6d8zqj

NR Summer SaleNR Summer Sale 2

~o0o~

I’m currently writing Book 3 in the series. Here’s the Goodreads link to add it to your TBR list. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25762664-untitled

Here’s more ways to keep track of me:

Follow my Author page on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/AC-Netzel/e/B00KCMSBX4

LIKE me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-AC-Netzel/643706702344488

Find me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ACNetzel Or Subscribe to this blog. Summer Sale Ad 1