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Coming Out of the Author Closet

Publishing a book has been an interesting experience for me. It wasn’t something I saw on my radar…it just happened. I kept my secret author life under wraps from people in my “real-life.”
This was something I did for me…something I didn’t have to share, explain or defend.

The first person I “came out” to was my husband. He would watch me furiously typing on my laptop while we were watching TV together. Whenever he’d ask who I was writing to, I’d answer “No one” and continue on. He’d tease me about my secret internet life, occasionally asking me if I had a virtual boyfriend. He was kidding…at least I hope he was kidding.

Finally, after about two months, I came clean and confessed. I think he figured it out at that point. He knew I was reading fanfiction. I’d bitch and moan about all the awful things my beloved characters were doing. He knew when I read a cheating story by the side-eye he’d get from me after I read it. And he certainly knew when I read a lemon…. You can fill in the blank there.

One day I get the bright idea to write a book. This was an interesting change from fanfiction writing. My characters weren’t based on someone else’s ideas. I wasn’t bound by the personalities already written. These were my characters and mine alone. And I grew to really like them… occasionally wishing they were real so I could hang-out with them. That’s the nice thing about writing your own characters; you can make them anyone you want.

In my imagination they felt real…if they did something funny, I laughed with them. If they felt pain, I felt it. If they did something stupid, I wanted to smack them up side the head. But they were locked inside my head…just for me.

It wasn’t that I was afraid that anyone I let in on my secret wouldn’t support me. My family is awesome. My friends are awesome. They may make fun of me for writing a story that had some snark and smut… but they will always have my back.

My fear was “the blur”. I knew if I told anyone who knows me in “real-life” about publishing my book …and they took the time to read it…most would not distinguish between my own reality and my character’s reality. My characters are fictional… relatable, cool and a lot of fun…but still … fictional. (Not gonna lie…I’m relatable, cool and fun too, but still… real. Every time I step on the scale, I’m reminded how very ‘real’ I am).

My husband encouraged me to share my “Big News”… After all, publishing a novel is a big friggin’ deal (there should be a special candy or wine for such occasions). I was proud of my book. Sure, I had my moments of insecurities …okay, many moments… but I believe I accomplished the end result I was hoping for… a story that makes you smile…mostly.

The first people I confessed to were my mother and sisters. And it pretty much went as expected.

Mom: I love it. It’s so funny. The sex is good too. That husband of yours must be a lucky man.
Me: Please don’t say anymore.

My mother now uses the term “hot-sex” when speaking of my book, frequently. It makes me feel so dirty. Don’t get me wrong, my mother is no “little old lady” but still…she’s my mom…and the term “hot-sex” uttered from my virginal mother of seven’s mouth…Umm…no thank you.

~o0o~

Let’s move on to my sister… here’s the email I got from her:

So…… how do I keep you & your husband out of my head while reading?

Yup, that’s about what I was expecting.

~o0o~

Next…some of my friend’s reactions. I love my friends. They can tease you and it’s okay. … because you know karma is a bitch and one day you’ll get them back.

These are my childhood friends. I’ve know these wonderful ladies since I was seven-years-old. They know too much about me… and I know too much about them. It’s nice having enough dirt on each other to secure lifetime friendships. Oh, the stories we could tell. I’ll save that for another book.

Here’s their reaction when I “Came out of the Author Closet”

Friend 1: What an awesome accomplishment!! I always knew you were a writer, way back in high school, you could always dazzle the teachers with your work, even if you didn’t even start the assignment until an hour before it was due! I have started your book and gotten to chapter 6, I am enjoying your smuttiness!!

Friend 2: Wow. Always knew you had it in you. I’m expecting to lol when I read this – I still remember those great stories from Rivlins class

(Rivlin was our 10th grade English teacher… I don’t think he appreciated my smart-aleck mouth, but he begrudgingly liked my writing. My friends in his other classes would beg him to read my work to their class. I liked to write funny then…I remember a character I wrote named Venetian, a blind prophet (we were reading Greek tragedies at the time)… I created him all because I wanted to write the line “Venetian’s blind.” I thought that line was hysterical.

I tended to write all of our assignments in the hallway on the way to class on the day it was due. And still pulled off A’s. Pissed off my friends. What can I say? I worked better under pressure. If I was still in high school, I’d probably do the same.)

Friend 3: started yesterday afternoon and just finished……..loved it!!!! Who knew you were such a dirty girl!!! LOLOLOL when’s the next one coming out???

Okay, that went better than expected. Although I see them in person in a week. After a few glasses of wine…I’m sure the conversations will be much raunchier.

~o0o~

Everyone naturally assumes that the sex I wrote about was my own. I cannot confirm or deny this assumption.

However, my husband has no issue if my readers choose to believe that the Ben character is based on him.

So, it’s been an interesting experience all around. First publishing a book. Waiting for feedback (which thankfully has been very positive). Then unveiling my secret author-life to a few of my nearest and dearest.

All in all, I’m glad I came-out to my selective few. I cringed and blushed while confessing to the smut portion of my writing… but didn’t hurt a bit.


 

A bit of business:

Here’s a few links to my book, The Casual Rule. If you haven’t already bought it… what are you waiting for? One-click it! It’s the perfect beach read… and if it’s your winter…it’s the perfect sit by the fireplace read. Covers all the bases.

If you have read it and feel so inclined to leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads, it would be greatly appreciated. (It helps us Indie writers get seen). I’ve taken my magical multicolored gel pens and blank notebooks to the summertime home-office (the beach) and started writing book 2.

Amazon US link: http://tinyurl.com/osl87fb
Amazon UK link: http://tinyurl.com/nx374jq
Amazon AU link: http://tinyurl.com/ntcasyb
Amazon CA link: http://tinyurl.com/nf3yt56
And many other countries…check out your Amazon links.

~o0o~

FSOG Fanfiction:

I updated Fifty Shades- A Different Way last week. Already working on the next chapter. I have to say, I have changed direction on the original intended storyline and I’m enjoying writing this new direction. It’s been a lot of fun (CG’s thought process has made me laugh out loud a few times while writing it) and I know many of you will never look at Jeopardy the same way.

~o0o~

 

How to Find Me:

1- Subscribe to this blog

2- Facebook: I have two accounts:

    A)Friend’ me at AC Netzel (I talk fanfiction snippets among other random thoughts. I’m probably most active here) https://www.facebook.com/netzel.fanfic

    B)Like’ my facebook Author page: Author- AC Netzel
http://tinyurl.com/p5ezdbs

3- Twitter: ACNetzel@ACNetzel

4-Follow’ my stories on the fanfiction site for updates on chapters. ( Netzel- Author) Late Night Thoughts is complete, but Fifty Shades – A Different Way is still updating…and Nighttime Thoughts (the tongue-on-cheek story) will eventually get one more addendum (because I refuse to call it a chapter)

 

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The Casual Rule is LIVE!!

The Casual Rule is now  LIVE and Available on Amazon for Kindle.

I no longer have any excuses to avoid housework or writing more fanfiction and blog entries.  Thank you to everyone who has supported me…my fanfiction friends, facebook friends, my Twitter friends, and blog followers.  In a million years, I never thought I’d write a book.  Thank you!!

 

Here’s the link

http://www.amazon.com/The-Casual-Rule-AC-Netzel-ebook/dp/B00KCDTXAS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1400155244&sr=8-1&keywords=the+casual+rule

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Cover Reveal and Blurb…

Julia Conti is living the dream in New York City. She has a job she loves in publishing and shares an apartment in the Village with her lifelong best friend, Allie. Following a bad break-up, Julia swears off of men and relationships, until she meets Ben Martin, an up and coming author who is smart, sexy and very easy on the eyes. Fueled by their mutual attraction, close working relationship and fear of relationships, Julia and Ben embark on a purely physical affair, following the Casual Rule. As they bring each other further into their lives, their casual status blurs. Can she keep sex and love separate or will feelings take hold and Julia get her heart broken again?

Final Cover 5-10

 

*I’m sure a few of you were hoping for Fabio on the cover, but the daisies won out.  I’m on Goodreads now if you want to find me there …. AC Netzel The Casual Rule, coming May 15, 2014.  Mark it “To-Read” on Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22044745-the-casual-rule

Snippet # 3

Meet Ben:

“Do you want me Julia?” His voice is low, alluring.

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to touch you here?” He lightly presses his fingers on my panties, applying pressure against my throbbing sex.

My muscles clench. “Yes,” I gasp.

“Do you want me inside you?” He brushes his lips down my neck, lightly nibbling by my collarbone.

“Yes,” I whisper. My body is on fire. I need him right now like I need air to breathe.

“Good… After dinner.” He straightens himself out and releases his hold on me.

My mouth falls open. I’m completely confounded. What the fuck just happened? I thought we were about to have sex.

“Something wrong?” he asks with a devilish smirk and raised brow. Holy shit, I know his game. He’s teasing me back. The bastard.

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Coming May 15, 2014

Snippet Time

It’s been a busy month. I know I have a lot of blog catching up to do.  So no one thinks I fell off the face of the Earth…here’s a small snippet from my book.  Due out Early May. I have a new Author Page on Facebook too.  Please “Like” it.   I suffer from Middle Child Syndrome and need constant reassurance.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/AC-Netzel/643706702344488

(Snippet below)

Meet Julia:

I suppose BOB and I could make a happy life as a couple. He never makes any demands, other than the occasional battery change, which admittedly has been often since I dumped that cheating asshole. And I know BOB would never betray my heart. He seems quite taken with me; he’s hard for me all the time after all, and he lives rent free in my nightstand drawer. It’s a win-win for both of us.

Mrs. Julia Dildofucker. Yup, my future’s looking bright.

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Insomnia brings out the crazy

I have a sleep window, the time when I’m so tired I need to either nap in the afternoon… or go to bed for the night. (Depending on what time of the day my sleepiness presents itself).  When the need for sleep hits me, there’s a short period where I either use it or lose it.  If I wait too long I lose my sleep mojo.

This happened to me countless times on weekend afternoons when I pulled a late nighter (that’s a lie…I had one wine too many) and I’d peter out in the early afternoon.  Knowing I have a ton of errands to run, I’ll fight through my exhaustion (wine haze) because I know if I take a nap, I’ll have no desire to go out when I wake up. So, my husband and I  dash around town, doing the Costco, Home Depot, Target, Shoprite runs—or as we affectionately call it- A Hot Date.

Yup, life in the Land of Netzel is nothing but thrilling.

 

Once our errands are completed and we’re home, I groggily traipse upstairs to our bedroom to indulge in my well deserved (and very much needed) nap. Snuggling in my warm and cozy bed, I close my eyes and drift off to a peaceful sleep.  Three minutes later, my eyes are wide open.   I lost my window…my sleep mojo is gone.  Poof! Disappeared.  I’m still tired (exhausted, wine-hazy and now cranky as hell) …but the moment is lost.

This phenomenon does not apply to naps only; it also applies to my nighttime sleep.  You know, the eight hours we’re supposed to get each and every night to start our day bright eyed, bushy tailed and all that jazz.

This brings me to last night.  At around ten o’clock my head was in the throws of some serious bobbing, as I dozed off on the couch.  Several times, Mr. Netzel nudged me, telling me I should go upstairs to bed.  I refused.  It was Sunday and I didn’t want the weekend to end. I forced myself to stay awake, although I was crappy company, constantly yawning and dozing off again.

By 11:30 I finally gave in.

By 11:45 Mr. Netzel was comatose and I was wide awake.  I missed my window.

It’s funny the things that go through your mind when you can’t sleep.  The number one thing that goes through your mind…Why can’t I sleep?

Aggravating as hell.

 

After the initial berating myself for not going to bed an hour and a half earlier, I start to overthink.  Overthinking when you’re frustrated, exhausted, and something I like to refer to as “sleepy-stupid” is a bad combination.  All sorts of random thoughts pop into your head. There’s no rhyme or reason…. over-tired brain babble.

Here’s one of my thoughts…this one went on for a while.

Knowing that filming for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie just wrapped, it was on my mind.  I know why, it’s pretty much every other topic on my facebook newsfeed.

This got me thinking about actors and movie sex.  Now, I realized they simulate sex, but still.  There’s nakedness, lots if they do it right.  Then my brain takes it to the next level.  How would I feel if my husband was an actor and part his work was to get naked and simulate sex with a pretty, young, flexible actress he just met?  Could I be cool about it and convince myself that it’s part of his job? Would I be secure enough in our relationship to allow it? Could I look him in the eye when he came home after a long day at “work”?  Or would I give him the side eye?

It didn’t take long to know my answer… although the paycheck is nice and the possibility that his career could flourish is incentive… I’d be totally selfish and put the kibosh on it. I’m not that cool.  I’m not that secure.

Even if they had him wearing one of those cock socks.  You know, the garment actors wear over their manhood to protect their modesty. Not a freaking chance in hell.  There’s still uglies bumping…and that particular ugly belongs to me.

 

On filming days for sex scenes, my husband’s hands will be cupping the perfect young and perky tits of a woman who is most definitely not his wife. The very girl he just met a few weeks prior. His tongue gliding down her stomach, trailing featherlike kisses back up to her neck.  (Excuse me for a moment…I need to find a photo of my husband and burn it).  Her perfectly manicured nails will be raking down his back, while she lay naked under him, her legs wrapped around his waist.

All the while I’m home, watching reruns of The Nanny, sticking pins in the groin of the Voodoo doll I named affectionately after my husband, while yelling at it “Simulate this- You Bastard!”  (Don’t worry, she gets one too.)

Next, I imagined going to the wrap party with my husband, a festive get together of cast and crew after three months of filming.  Everyone is smiling and laughing.  Drinks are flowing.  The lead actress comes up to me to exchange niceties. She may be the sweetest person in the world, but to me she’s the bitch who got naked with my man. I try to act cool, but inside I want to scratch her eyes out.  I know my husband probably had his mouth wrapped around her nipples three days earlier, while he pounded his sock into her ugly.  I’d wonder if he had a sock slip…or if anything else slipped.  Too much wondering.

Like I said, I’m not cool.

I had to get my mind off of that scenario because it was making me angry at my husband who was doing nothing but peacefully sleep beside me, oblivious to my irrational fury and jealousy over something that never happened.

I start thinking about the book I’m writing.  Sometimes I hear the conversations between the characters in my head.  It’s like I’m eavesdropping on a private discussion.  I hear the words go back and forth …over and over.  This time a phrase was used and I wanted to remember it.  But it’s three am and pitch black in my bedroom.  On my nightstand is a pad and pen I keep for these moments of clarity.  I didn’t want to wake my husband, but I knew I’d lose the words if I didn’t write it down.  So in the darkness, I scribble something.

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Two words scribbled in handwriting I don’t recognize.   Fortunately for me, I remembered what I was referring to and added it in the chapter (I’m guessing it’ll be in chapter 16 when all is said and done).

By now it’s close to four a.m.  I’m still awake  and the hubs is snoring.

In a desperate attempt to bore myself to sleep, I grab my cell phone and connect to the internet.  After about an hour.  I’m bored enough to call it a night. I close my eyes and finally drift off.

 Buzz, Buzz, Buzz…. Stupid alarm clock. Six a.m came around fast. Time to get up and start the day.

So here’s my lesson learned.  Don’t ignore the sleep window. It messes with your head.

~o0o~

Some quick notes: I’ve received a few questions regarding my Different Way story.   I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to read it and inquire about it. I have not abandoned the story and will continue it.  I’m back in my writing groove, so hopefully soon.  Thank you again for your patience.

I’ve been thinking about moving my fanfics over to this blog.  I haven’t decided yet.  This way, everything is in one place…and it’ll give me the opportunity to rewrite some of the chapters I’ve always wanted to retackle.   I’ll get back to you on that.

About my book.    I’m very close to the end of it before it goes into the first round of real editing.  Please let me know if you’d like to see some snippets here and I’ll see what I can do.

And lastly, I’d like to thank all of you who take some time out of your day to read this blog.  It’s been fun to write.  Please be sure to subscribe to it and follow me if you like what you see.

That’s all for today.  Make it a good one.

You’ve got to be kidding me… It’s going to snow again?

I’m managing my facebook exile pretty well. I’ve written four additional chapters for my original story in that time, the first draft anyway. I usually take a few days after to think about what I wrote (and go through some inner conflict tug of war over whether I like it or hate it.  At some point during my turmoil, the answer is both.  I’ll fix what didn’t work and move on.)

 As you have probably worked out, my process is not that complicated.  The truth is- I’m not that deep.  And I like it that way.

While I work out the kinks in the original, I figure it’s time to get working on a much delayed update or two in FSOG fanfiction world.  That’s what’s on today’s menu anyway. 

 My Social Media Dom has allowed me a few minutes here and there to peek into facebook.  I hope he doesn’t get too used to his Dom status because those days are numbered. Soon I’ll be back to my well-deserved Queen of the Castle status.

 

While perusing my newsfeed, I’ve come to the conclusion that I haven’t missed much. In the few times I’ve peeked in, I’ve found that most  status’ are my fellow facebook friends bitching and moaning about snow. Granted, this part of the world has been dealing with a shitload of snow.  I’m not a fan of snow. Truthfully, I hate snow (yet, I enjoy shoveling snow… it burns away all the wine calories… and there’s a lot to burn).

Correction, I like pretty snow. The kind that sticks onto the trees and grassy surfaces, leaving the streets and sidewalks clear.  That has not occurred this winter.  We are getting pounded.  Three storms just this week.  It’s crazy. Mother Nature is really getting around…Snow Slut that she is.

When my daughter was in middle school, the eighth grade sponsored a day trip to the Pocono Mountains for some winter sports… skiing, snowboarding, tubing, all the outdoorsy cold winter fun activities I’d rather avoid.  Parents were encouraged to come along and participate.  Like many of us, I was an overprotective parent with visions of my daughter breaking her leg from a freak tubing accident, so I was on board.  Mind you, we were not chaperones; we were there to enjoy the joys of winter along with everyone else.

The kids were having a blast, decked out in eighty layers of coats, hats and scarves.  My daughter and her friend begged me to join them on the mountain. 

Hello darling daughter….  Have you met me?

Fortunately, they were still young enough to believe that anything I told them was gospel.  Like a few other snow-hating mothers, I explained to them that I was staying behind at the ski lodge in case someone was injured and needed help.  I’m so selfless, such a giver.  Satisfied with that excuse, the girls scampered back to the frigid mountain, while I and all the other selfless parents waited patiently in the ski lodge.

Here’s what our kids thought we were doing:

 

 Here’s the reality:

 

 Needless to say, we made the best of the day (and slept it off on the bus ride home… Good Times).

~o0o~

A few years ago, we were hammered with a bitch of a blizzard. This is a worst case scenario for a snow hater like me.  It’s not pretty snow.  It’s snow that keeps you locked up in your house for days with nothing else to do but eat and deal with bored kids.

I was miserable at the prospect of this snow event.  Mother Nature was setting herself up to be particularity slutty…porn star slutty. I needed a diversion, something to keep my mind off of the storm as it was happening, and lighten my misery.  That’s when I had my moment of clarity.

I read somewhere that it’s practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.  You can’t argue with that logic.  Think of a penguin right now…you’re happy right?   You can’t help yourself, can you?

Meet Paulie the Penguin.  He belongs to our neighbors. We steal it off their porch every Christmas and return it in July. Paulie was about to make this blizzard tolerable.

We placed him on a table outside and let Paulie and Mother Nature entertain us. 

Paulie at 11:00 am: Ready for the fun to begin:

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Paulie at 3:00 pm.   He’s still holding his own:

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5:00 pm…Things are starting to suck for Paulie:

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 7:00 pm.  Paulie is experiencing numbness on his face.  Meanwhile, I’m warm and toasty with a  glass of chilled Pinot Grigio:

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 9:00.  Lucky for Paulie, penguin balls are internal.  Now that it’s dark outside, he’s lit up for our viewing pleasure:

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 11:00 pm.  I think it’s pretty safe to say, Paulie is not a happy Penguin. However I’m on my third glass of wine, it’s all good for me:

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11:00 BONUS PIC. For shits and giggles.  Yes, he’s still in there. Watch him glow.  Isn’t he glorious?  

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 8 am.  My ruler said a gazzilion inches of snow fell that day.  Not a good day to be a plastic penguin. Paulie entombed:

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 9 am.  Paulie carved out of his snowy tomb:

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Later that day…. No Penguins were hurt in this experiment:

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~o0o~

 So, there ya go. My solution to beating the “You’ve got to be kidding me…It’s going to snow again?” blues.

I hope you enjoyed Paulie as much as we do. It’s the only FU I can give to Mother Nature… make the misery she sprinkles upon us… entertaining.

It’s time for me to get writing, so adios until next time.

Stay safe out there.