My 2015 Foolproof New Years Resolutions

It’s that time of year where we make conscious decisions to better ourselves in the coming year. Ah, the promise of a new year, a clean slate, a new beginning. Like everyone else, I make several pacts with myself to do all the things I promised I’d do on January 1st of the previous year.

I’ll eat healthy, lose weight, exercise, garden, and organize my life. I’ll be the person I knew I could be: a better person, a stronger person… a purposeful person.

After Christmas, I began the planning process. After all, no good project (which is what I consider myself) comes without a carefully thought out plan. I pinned the hell out of Pinterest. I have countless pins of “detox water” recipes (incidentally, 2015 is looking to be the year of the great cucumber/lime-infused pee).

I can make pizza with a cauliflower crust and bake cakes without shortening. I have playlists to walk, jog, and dance to. I’m holding onto cardboard toilet paper rolls to organize my phone chargers. I’m going to recycle and repurpose every pallet Costco is trashing and build a new house with the wood, complete with indoor and outdoor pallet furniture.

Plans for the garden? Let’s just say the head gardeners at New York Botanical Gardens and The White House Rose Garden will seek my advice once they witness my living works of art.

Like most of you, everything on my usual resolution list will be a complete and total failure. None of these things will happen. By January 3rd (I’m being generous here)… this will all be a laughable memory.

So I’ve come up with a solution. A new list… a fail-proof list. Instead of listing all the things I’ll do… why not make a list of all the things I won’t do. (I know, it’s brilliant in its simplicity). Come December 31st, 2015, I will proudly say that I saw all my 2015 Resolutions through.

So here it is. The list of 2015 Resolutions I will keep.

– I will not have dinner on the International Space Station.
– I will not marry Neil Patrick Harris.
– I will not win Jeopardy (unless it’s teen week, then I think I have a shot.)
– I will not share lip-gloss with Vladimir Putin.
– I will not have my prostate examined
– I will not tower over Shaquille O’Neal.
– I will not lay naked on a banquet table while sushi is served on top of me.
– I will not be The Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker ballet.
– I will not perform open heart surgery
– I will not be a sister wife.
– I will not win The Amazing Race or The Voice.
– I will not check my mailbox looking for a letter from Shaun Cassidy thanking me for the fan letter I sent to him when I was twelve. ( I’m Da-Do-Done-Done with you, Shaun!)
– I will not stare at the crotches of the Men’s Olympic swimmers anymore. (This is a lie. I will… and you know you will too.)
– I will not win an Olympic Gold in Curling.
– I will not not drink wine (that’s a trick resolution- double negatives rock!)
– I will not sing a duet with Tony Bennett (unless I’m drunk and you convince me you’re Tony Bennett.)
– I will not win Miss Nude 2015.
– I will not say “Yay! It’s snowing!”
– I will not date Sugar Bear… Momma June scares me.
– I will not star as a love interest in Sharknado 3.
– I will not take George Clooney back when he realizes the mistake he made marrying “that woman”.
So there ya go… Fool Proof Success.

There is just one thing I will do. Enjoy life and remember every day is a gift.

I wish you Happiness, Health and Peace in 2015.

 


 

Here’s some very cool news to end the year. My book, The Casual Rule (the link is to your right) was listed as “One of the Best of 2014” by Natalie at Love Between The Sheets.

Here’s what she said:
The Casual Rule by AC Netzel: This book was pure gold. Adorable, witty, heartwarming, sweet, sexy. I had such a fun time reading. Author AC Netzel was able to take a topic that we have all read before, ‘friends-with-benefits’, and turn it into something all her own. The characters felt genuine and were easily likable, the dialogue made me laugh and the romance was just perfect.

Link below:
http://romanceatrandom.com/best-of-the-year-2014/

A huge thank you to Natalie and everyone who has read my book. From the bloggers who took time out of their busy lives : Love Between the Sheets, Three Chicks and Their Book Blog, Nerd Girl, Live and Breathes Book Blog, Hooks & Books, Romance of Daydreams, and G & The Book Divas Blog ( I apologize if I forgot someone) to my fanfiction fans to someone who randomly took a chance on an unknown author.   It’s truly humbling to know that Julia, Ben, and Allie put a smile on your face. I love them and I’m thrilled you do too.


Fanfiction friends: I updated A Different Way on Dec 27th. Here’s the link in case you missed it.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8737857/25/Fifty-Shades-A-Different-Way


One last thing:

Starting in January, it may be harder to see facebook posts on my Author page (the page you “LIKE”). If you want to be sure you get updates from me (and who wouldn’t … I’ve met me — I’m delightful) here’s how to do it.

*Subscribe to this blog
* Friend me on Facebook at AC Netzel ( for fanfiction snippets, original writings and whatever crosses my mind) : Here’s a shortcut: http://tinyurl.com/ou5urcq
*Find Me on Twitter at @ACNetzel
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*Find Me on Goodreads: http://tinyurl.com/m47qqg5
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*My Amazon Author Page : http://tinyurl.com/mchxsah

*Find me on TSU: https://www.tsu.co/AuthorACNetzel

‘LIKE’ my facebook Author Page. Here’s a shortcut: http://tinyurl.com/kkbnfcl

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